Backtracking with Geass: Suzaku of the Rebellion
by Past Remedies
Summary: It's three years after Zero's Requiem and without Lelouch, Suzaku wants nothing more than to die. That is until the mysterious C.C. appears and offers him the power to change his past, thus changing his future. This power is Geass, the power of the King.
1. I Miss You

**A/N:** Hey what's up people I'm back! This is my second story on FanFiction and I'm REALLY excited, though my first story only got one review. :( It's Rolo/Rai story, please check it okay. Anyway, on to this story!

**Rating:** Mostly T for now, but M/NC-17 later on because of lemons.

**Story Warnings:** This story contains Yaoi which is BoyxBoy love, if you don't like it please do not read. This story also might contain possible M-preg, so you have been warned.

**Pairings: ** Lelouch/Suzaku or Suzaku/Lelouch. There will be of course other parings, but you'll see the rest as the story progresses.

**Story Info:** This story will contain P.O.V.'s (Point of Views) meaning it will always be in first person unless indicated.

**Important Info:** When you see this (****CODE*GEASS****) it means a new scene or point of view and when you see this (' ') it means direct thoughts, for example 'I can't believe she really did that'.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Code Geass or any of it's characters.

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**Backtracking with Geass: Suzaku of the Rebellion**

"_The punishment for what you have done shall be this then...you will live on, always wearing that mask, serving as a knight for justice and truth. You will no longer live your life as Suzaku Kururugi, you shall sacrifice the ordinary pleasures of your life in benefit of the world for eternity." ~_Lelouch~

**Suzaku's P.O.V.**

It's been 3 whole years since you've been gone; living no longer holds any meaning without you. I'm standing here in a shower in an attempt to use it to wash the multiple feelings of anguish away, but it's seems so futile I don't even no why I'm trying. After Zero's Requiem I've done my best to fulfill our contract and continue my role as Zero, but I'm losing myself, or at least what's left of me. The only thing I want to do is die, but thanks to your Geass, I can't do that either. So I'm forced to go through this life as the living dead feeling nothing, having nothing, being no more than an empty shell. I can barely talk to anyone because technically I'm already counted among the deceased. I'm isolated, unsociable I do talk to someone sometimes, but the person I do it with it's not really talking if you ask me. Nunnally, someone else important you left behind, she phones every so often. She somehow found out who I am from touching your hand before you... left us. She doesn't talk at all except a greeting or asking how I'm doing. When she calls she just weeps and weeps, even harder than I do if possible. In your place I try my best to comfort her, doing my utmost to give her encouragement and kind words, but I know anything I say always falls upon deaf ears. There's no way I could replace her precious big brother. Besides, who am _I_ to offer advice when I'm far worst than she is. The phone call usually last for hours and hours on end, sometimes I go silent and just listen to her soft cries and sniffles until Sayoko comes on to inform me she cried herself to sleep, that's always how our conversation ends. Kallen your ex-number one knight, she too sometimes calls, just not as frequent as Nunnally. She, like Nunnally figured out Zero's Requiem which I guess was to the fact that it can only be grasped by people who truly love you. We don't say much when were chatting except the basics you know how are you, hows school, etc. Unlike Nunnally she doesn't get emotional, though I have the pleating feeling she wants too. She did however did sob once on our last phoning. She had asked me why you didn't trust her enough to tell her about your plan. I said the truth in to her the way I know you saw it.

"He did everything in his power to prevent the lose of another loved one." I told her, "Regardless of how severely him dying would hurt us all." With that she went deathly silent and I knew from her labored breathing she was fighting back the tears. I haven't talked to anyone since then which was 5 whole months ago. They haven't seized contact with me I just don't to answer the phone, I no longer have strength to do so. It's like all my energy has been sucked away and my body is trying to slowly die instead of deliberately. I hate how I'm been reduced to this, but I don't blame you. I just.. I just... 'I just can't take it anymore!'

"Dammit!" I screamed out suddenly, smashing my fist against the tile. "Dammit, dammit, dammit!" "Why the hell did you leave me here alone!" I continued, rapping my hand against the smooth surface repeatedly until I eventually sunk to my knees from exhaustion. I then lost all control of my body and started to tremble uncontrollably. Massive tears welled up in my eyes widely impairing my vision. "Why?" I said to know one, letting the tears escape the confinement of my eyes. "Why, did you have to go?"

***********************************CODE*GEASS***********************************

I don't know how long I sat there until I recollected my self well enough to move. When I finally got up out of the shower I felt stiff and sore and realized for all I know I could have been for hours. I walked over to the right side of the medium sized bathroom, despite being soaking wet and looked in the oval shaped mirror. The first thing I noticed in the reflection was my face was red and puffy, obviously from balling my eyes out. I turned the gold knob of the white sink, and when I went to splash water on my face I saw that my knuckles were raw and dripping blood. I sighed, 'I haven't been this bad since the night of his...' I shook my head dismissing that thought as soon as it started and rushed over into the toiletry cabinet. I reached on the top shelf and brought out some rubbing alcohol along with some cotton balls. I began to swipe them across my knuckles biting my tongue at the sting of the disinfecting burn. After I was finished and everything was packed away I finally dried myself with a towel and wrapped it around my slim waist, willing myself not to wet my bathroom floor anymore than it was. I trudged of into the next room which was my bedroom and plunged back first on my bed, the white towel falling off in the process. I closed my eyes for a minute then slowly looked up at the ceiling. I felt my emerald orbs become heavy and fill up, ready to overflow again. I tried my best to fight it back but to no digress. A single tear escaping my eye and rolled down my face.

"Lelouch, I miss you." I whispered aloud, that being the first time I said _his_ name in 3 years.

"Would you like the power to see him again?" A voice sounded from my bedroom door way. My breath hitched I was completely caught of guard. I quickly sprang up and directed my eyes towards in which the voice came and in walked a girl with long lime green hair and beautiful yet bored yellow eyes. I knew _exactly_ who it was.

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**A/N: **Awesome, I'm finished! Please R n R! (Means Read and Review I think.)


	2. When CC Appears

**A/N:** Hey here's Chapter 2, I hope you enjoy it! Oh and thanks to **Sacrificial**, **Anon** and **Meow** to being my first Reviewers ever I'm overjoyed you liked it! On a side note in regards to what **Meow** said about who will be my Bottom (Uke) I'm not quite sure yet actually, maybe Suzaku, we'll just have to see as the story goes continues to progress. Wait, on second thought I'll post a poll on my Profile and you guys can vote on who you want to top and bottom (Seme/Uke), or you can leave a review or send me a Private Message on who you think it should be okay? Anyway thanks a bunch, and I hope to see you guys come back and tell me what you think along with other Reviewers! Now without further ado on to Chapter 2!

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**Suzaku's P.O.V.**

At first I just stared not really processing any thought just gawking at her like I'd seen a ghost. Then when I finally found my voice I spoke.

"C.C.. it's... it's really you." I smiled, through tearful eyes. She looked at me then looked down and for briefest second her stagnant eyes widened, I gasped. Wait C.C.'s in my room, and I'm... and I'm... NAKED, suddenly it all registered, and _hard_ I might add.

"What the hell!" I streaked in half shock and the other embarrassment. "Don't do things like that!" I blushed, scrambling to cover myself with the discarded towel on the floor.

"What's wrong Suzaku Kururugi, you look _surprised_ to see me?" She asked, speaking for the first time, raising an eyebrow. I could hear the rich sarcasm laced in her tone.

"As if." I said defensively, feeling myself turning red as a tomato. "It's not like I missed you or anything." Though I hate to admit it the truth is, I had. She, like everything else in my life had just up and disappeared, however her absence was a little more random. She left without a trace, leaving with not even a farewell or goodbye, just a scribbled sticky note on my fridge that informed me she was stealing half my savings to afford pizza hut on the road.

"You never change Suzaku." She sighed, shaking her head. "In many ways your just like Lelouch." Just the mention of _his_ name made our conversation take a hard left. Feeling the light mood dissipate I sat down on my bed, my mood rapidly getting solemn.

"Why are you here?" I said acidly, not caring how rude my tone sounded. She again raised an eyebrow and leaned on the door frame.

"Is something wrong, it looks like something I said bothered you?" She asked mockingly.

"Don't play dumb with me you _immortal_ _witch_, you know exactly what you did!" I exploded, standing up accusingly not caring that my towel dropped back to the floor. She looked at me at for a second then chuckled. "What the hells so funny!" I questioned, feeling more heat rush to my face.

"Nothing." She smiled one of her rare smiles, "I just can't believe you called by Lelouch's old nickname." She pushed of the door frame. She then walked right past me and plopped on my bed making herself right at home. I didn't know what to say so to her first there was so many things I had to ask her, though part of me believed this was a dream and she wasn't actually here. So instead of one of the hard ones, I started with the first obvious question I could think of.

"How'd you get in here?" I probed, actually curious.

"Simple." She replied boredly, like it was common knowledge, "The cat let me in." 'Arthur' I thought plausibly, thinking it over for a minute. 'Wait, I'm not even going to ask...'

"Hey!" I screamed when I looked at C.C. "What are you doing!" Over on my bed she had begun to strip down to her under clothes, throwing her clothes in different directions on the floor. She looked up at me annoyed.

"I've had a long journey here, and I require sleep." She said getting under the covers. "Besides that's a lot of audacity coming from you, nude boy." 'Nude boy.' I questioned mentally, I looked down... Oh my! I swiftly snatched my towel up and tried to cover my exposed body.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I said rushing of to the my dresser to get some boxers. I heard her shift on the pillow.

"I thought you knew." She replied yawning. When I finished making myself decent in a pair of boxers and gray sweats, I returned and sat down at the foot of the bed.

"You got some nerve you know that?" I said tiredly, realizing how drained I felt.

"Nerve for what?' She inquired, shifting again to look directly at me. "For kicking you out of your bed, or do you mean abandoning you when you needed me most." I looked down at my feet not wanting to meet her gaze.

"Both."

"Well in regards to the bed, I think there is more than enough room for us to both sleep on it." She suggested calmly. "And to other thing..." She trailed off, "I'm sorry, but I had some important matters to attend to." I wanted to demand what could be so important that she'd abandon me, when she knew I'd lost the most important person in my life, but I knew she wouldn't answer me. So instead I asked the other question that was weighing on my heart.

"Tell me C.C..." I said slowly taking a deep breath, "What did you mean by did I want the power to see _him _again?" She didn't answer and I looked at her thinking she'd fell asleep, but she was wide awake looking as though she was contemplating something. After what a while she replied.

"We'll talk about it in the morning, you look to exhausted to take in anything I say." She closed her eyes. I sighed, I figured she'd say something like that; there was no point in arguing further. I stood up from my place at the foot of the bed, and moved to the opposite side from which she was lying on. Once there I pulled up the sheets and slid under them relishing there warmth. My eyes closed on there own and without thinking his name rolled perfectly of my tongue.

"Lelouch." I whispered, as I had done earlier. From there I began to drift of to sleep, but before I was completely gone I heard a voice that sounded like C.C.'s that said,

"Don't worry, I promise you'll see him again." Though I couldn't be sure I actually heard it in my hazed state, I still muttered a,

"Thank you," and let myself go the rest of the way.

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**A/N:** Okay readers tell me what you thought about the chapter, you don't have to be shy now!


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